Some people never learn. It’s true, and I have scientific evidence to prove it. As if the various blunders and failures of hundreds of will-never-be champions over the past 49 Shonen Jump Championships weren’t enough to make my blood boil, the errors committed here today after only three rounds have left me feeling faint . . . and angry. I truly believed that on today of all days, each and every duelist in the building would have come armed with the knowledge and skills required to rise above the rest, or at the very least not embarrass themselves in front of 1,055 other duelists. Needless to say, this has not been the case. Since I’ve already given up on the occupants of this room (and rightly so!), perhaps you, the readers of Metagame.com, would like to benefit from my vast experience? Of course you would! Turning down a lecture from yours truly is like freely accepting an invitation to detention on Monday, and I’m certain that none of you would be foolish enough to do that . . . right? Right.

If it is your intent to one day join the ranks of the Shonen Jump Champions, then I submit that the most important thing you can do as a player is to be cognizant of the game you are currently playing. I didn’t believe it at first either, but it is apparently possible to play a game without paying any attention to any of the cards whatsoever. For instance, it seems that the sudden resurgence of the Six Samurai also resulted in a sudden surge of duelists who have no idea what they’re doing. You see, a vast amount of confusion has arisen regarding what you can and can’t do regarding the effects of The Six Samurai - Yaichi, Grandmaster of the Six Samurai, and Great Shogun Shien. That’s right, the cards that people remember the least are the ones that see the most play. Here are a few things to remember the next time you encounter the Six Samurai on either side of the table:

You can chain a face-down spell or trap card to the effect of The Six Samurai - Yaichi.

Truly, there is absolutely no reason I should have to even waste my breath on such a simple application of basic game rules, but waste it I shall. If Yaichi targets your set Raigeki Break, Ceasefire, or Escape from the Dark Dimension, by all means chain it. Don’t let that pipsqueak of a monster deprive you of your trap cards for no reason, especially when there is a great strategic benefit to using your cards rather than letting them be destroyed needlessly. If I have a Jinzo removed from play and Escape from the Dark Dimension set, and my opponent targets it with Yaichi, there is no reason I should not flip that Escape and try to save myself from a severe beating at the hands of Grandmaster.

Grandmaster brings back a Six Samurai regardless of how or where he’s destroyed.

With the impending release of Crush Card Virus in the Gold Series, here’s something that all of you who plan on playing it should be aware of. If you destroy Grandmaster of the Six Samurai while it’s in your opponent’s hand, they can pick it right back up. If it’s on the field and you blow it away, they can pick it right back up. You wouldn’t believe the number of excuses I’ve heard from the multitude of slackers out there who treat Grandmaster as if it was any old 2100 ATK monster. It’s not. It’s much more than that, and if you don’t treat it as such, you’ll find yourself wasting all your best cards for no reason, much like a number of players at this event have.

If a Samurai player controlling Great Shogun Shien negates your one spell or trap for the turn with Solemn Judgment or Dark Bribe, you can still play a spell or trap.

At least twice per round, one oblivious duelist is caught off guard by Great Shogun Shien’s effect. If your opponent negates the activation of a card you play, then it doesn’t count as your one spell or trap for the turn. Its activation was negated . . . as in it never happened. That leaves you free to activate another spell or trap despite what your equally oblivious opponent might try to tell you. It would be bad enough if the failure stopped there, but it doesn’t. Oh no. First it was the Six Samurai, and now it’s also extended into the Gladiator Beasts! I’m not sure which made me more upset: the initial public backlash against the Gladiator Beasts or the current public ignorance of how they work. That, however, is a tale for another time.

For now, though, allow me to leave you with this tale of unprecedented obliviousness from the back of the hall. A Macro Cosmos player was squaring off against an Exodia player in game 3. The Exodia player had the game fairly locked down with four pieces of Exodia in hand and a battery of stall cards backed up by Solemn Judgment. The Cosmos player had a set Dark Bribe, and activated Heavy Storm with the intent of clearing the field and hopefully making a game-winning press. His opponent countered the Storm with Solemn Judgment, but the Cosmos player remembered that he had Dark Bribe set and used it to force the Storm through. Unfortunately for him, the card drawn from Dark Bribe was the final piece of Exodia. A humiliating loss to be sure: even more so once he finally realized what had happened. You see, our Cosmos player failed to recognize that he had lost the duel despite the fact that his opponent had revealed his hand containing all five pieces of Exodia. Not content to quit while we was behind (and in fact not even in the game), the Cosmos player put Van’Dalgyon onto the field—claiming that he was targeting the opponent’s Spirit Reaper—and he then searched for D.D. Survivor with Reinforcement of the Army, placing it onto the field and claiming to attack with both for game. To say he was embarrassed when they finally told him that he had in fact lost a while ago would be a severe understatement, so allow me to compare the resulting color of his face to the packaging of a Strike of Neos booster pack. It was shameful, and if ever any of you find yourselves doing something similar, you may wish to re-evaluate the goals of your dueling career. I suspect “knowing where you are and what you’re doing” would make for a good start.

Dr. Crellian Vowler is not a very nice person and is frequently described as a misanthrope by his peers. When he isn’t busy ranting at up-and-coming duelists and/or handing out detentions, you can find him sitting in front of his fireplace knitting frilly pink scarves with which to keep warm during the harsh Cleveland winters.