One of the things I really hate about the nature of weekly deadlines is that they have a nasty habit of falling right before major events. As much as I wish I could hop into the future to find out what goes down at Shonen Jump Championship Tulsa, I’m woefully 
trapped in the present, which is your past, typing away about a subject that might be old news by the time Jason is done for the weekend. But while I can’t always be ahead of the curve, I can still do my best to at least be relevant, and what better way to be relevant than to include Emergency Teleport in the discussion?
Emergency Teleport is the kind of card that’s always relevant because it’s just too good to ignore. I can’t think of a single way that Emergency Teleport will fail to define the next Jump, even if it does so by virtue of the fact that the field must innovate in order to overcome its power. Will Gladiator Beasts start main-decking Shadow-Imprisoning Mirror to try and stave off Destiny Hero - Malicious/Emergency Teleport combos? Will players try to out-speed Teleport Dark Armed Dragon with Demise/Geartown combo decks? I have no idea, but regardless of what both of those decks might try, I think I have a fun solution to get around their answers to Teleport Dark Armed Dragon.
There are basically three ways that Gladiator Beasts can beat a Teleport Dark Armed deck. First, they can draw a D.D. Crow in their opening hand, thus shutting down Destiny Hero - Malicious. Second, and less likely, they can draw some weird hand that lets them get Gladiator Beast Heraklinos out on the first turn and protect it. Finally, they could draw the absolute negation package with Solemn Judgment, Gladiator Beast War Chariot, Cold Wave, and all the tools needed to level the field with Gladiator Beast Gyzarus every single turn. The Demise/Geartown deck seemingly loses if Stardust Dragon graces the field on the first turn, unless they can kill off a Geartown without Demise, King of Armageddon. (Personally, I like Swing of Memories in that deck to get back whatever beefy monster you use to pay for the Ritual summon of Demise to solve this situation, but I digress.) The real point here is that if you don’t have a way to deal with quick Synchro summons, you’re out of luck. D.D. Crow is the method of choice for preventing any of this from happening in the first place, so today I present a method of performing a first-turn Synchro summon in such a way that D.D. Crow won’t be able to stop you.
Each deck tends to have its own little two-card combos that are the basis of its most powerful moves. Two good examples of this are Destiny Hero - Malicious and Emergency Teleport or Elemental Hero Prisma and Test Tiger. Any time one of these combos is played, the end result is going to be an extremely powerful monster that, left unchecked and un-countered, will win the game. This deck has one of those too, except in this case it’s Rescue Cat and Emergency Teleport. With Rescue Cat, you can get any combination of monsters for any possible Synchro summon you might want to attempt. Whether you choose to get four, five, or six levels worth of Beast monsters, Emergency Teleport provides whatever you need to get to your desired number. In addition, Rescue Cat can serve as a multi-purpose tool for getting rid of undesirable monsters from your opponent’s field. If the opponent’s hiding behind a wall of defense-position monsters, you have the option to either clear them away with Red Dragon Archfiend or try to push through them for the win with a pair of Gyaku-Gire Panda cards. D. D. Crazy Beast allows for the removal of obnoxious monsters so long as you can take them down in battle. In fact, despite the generally low printed ATK values of most of your monsters, the deck performs admirably in the battle phase due to potent combat tricks, a variable sized piercing monster, and the monkey with poor posture: Green Baboon, Defender of the Forest.
You might have noticed that the only card in the deck that can naturally be hit by Crush Card Virus is Green Baboon, Defender of the Forest. If you did notice, you probably also remembered that it’s beneficial for you to have that card in the graveyard. The Baboon can shut down an incredible number of plays just by being an almost free 2600 ATK monster. He naturally beats out Stardust Dragon, and with the aid of a Shrink or Book of Moon, you can get him to take out anything except the effectively un-targetable Thought Ruler Archfiend. This deck doesn’t run any specific tricks exclusively to get Baboon to the graveyard, but the all-star Ryko, Lightsworn Hunter always has a chance to dump him after it finishes taking down an opposing card.
Even better, if Ryko was attacked, its effect resolves before it’s sent to the graveyard. A lucky player might encounter a situation in which his or her Ryko dumps Baboon into the graveyard, just before Ryko is destroyed and sent to the graveyard itself. That lucky player will then pay 1000 life points to summon Green Baboon during the last part of the damage step, rendering it invulnerable to the dreaded D.D. Crow. Baboon is also your best bet against untimely Test Tiger combos from a Gladiator Beast opponent, especially if you’re stuck under Cold Wave at the time. Those 2600 ATK points that beat Stardust Dragon also make it impractical for a Cold Wave-backed Gladiator Beast Gyzarus to make any headway against the Beast without wasting any more cards to do it. It’s not an unlikely scenario either, considering that the Gladiator Beast player will almost always destroy as many cards with the effect of Gyzarus as he or she can. If you just happen to have a Beast-type monster down, you’re now in business.
On the Psychic side of things, this deck is packing a full complement of both Krebons and Psychic Commander. The status of Krebons as the Tuner of choice for nearly every deck is all but cemented at this point, but I’m still finding the lack of Psychic Commander cards disturbing. Based on observations and talking to players, the most common reason why players are failing to include Psychic Commander in 
their deck is that they "just can’t find room." My advice to anyone who can’t find room for it is to stop trying to find some room and just make some. Psychic Commander is an extremely important part of your matchup against Gladiator Beasts. Slapping one down on the first turn forces your opponent to actually play cards if he or she wants to attack you, something that Gladiator Beast decks hate doing. As usual, you’ll have to worry about Gladiator Beast War Chariot if you plan on going on the offensive with the Commander, but the extensive suite of attack protection makes that concern a lot less likely.
Dimensional Prison is highly favored these days for its ability to simply take Stardust Dragon or any non-Thought Ruler monster straight out of play. With three of them in this deck, you’ll draw it in your first hand a fair portion of the time, and between Prison and Shrink, your ability to deal with first-turn Stardust Dragon cards is immensely amplified. Since I’m playing Ryko in this deck, I opted to go with Book of Moon over Enemy Controller owing to its ability to flip Ryko back down for additional uses should the need arise. It’s also the better counter to Test Tiger and capable of stopping opposing Synchro summons before they start. You opponent can’t even hide behind Krebons if you have Book of Moon at the ready, making the Tuner easy prey for D. D. Crazy Beast.
While some may decry Nimble Momonga in a format where Gladiator Beasts exist, the fact that it special summons monsters face down makes it much more tolerable than something like Giant Rat. It also gives you 1000 extra life points to work with if your opponent destroys it in battle, which is a lot more important right now than many people realize. In this deck, 1000 life points can give you an extra activation of Thought Ruler Archfiend or an extra summon of Green Baboon, Defender of the Forest. It can also mean the difference between winning and losing after an opponent goes all out and summons a ton of monsters. Life-point-gain tactics, while not game-winning on their own, can help you hang in there long enough to retake control of a game that’s gotten out of hand. The thing separating cards like Nimble Momonga from stuff that only sees play in the hands of the newest of beginners is that it helps you build your field presence at the same time. Compare it to Dian Keto the Cure Master. Burning a card in hand for 1000 life points is just silly 99% of the time. Having another monster on the field that gives you access to potential plays with both Green Baboon, Defender of the Forest and Goyo Guardian is great 99% of the time. Given the choice, I’ll tale the squirrels, thank you very much.
The decks and tactics just keep on evolving as we move further along into the format. Don’t get left behind, and certainly don’t let any of the naysayers blind you into thinking that there’s only one absolute way of getting things done. Until next time, play hard, play fair, and most importantly, have fun!
—Jerome McHale