Hello again, students. In last week’s class, I promised to present you with a revolutionary new card from Strike of Neos. However, first, I wish to present you with a question: why do they keep making things easier for your generation? When I was a young duelist, people had to work for their Ritual monsters! We slaved away in the card advantage mines, building up a plethora of monsters to tribute just to get out a big, impressive one. Half the time it would be blown away anyway! Now Strike of Neos is going to come along and make the entire concept of Ritual summoning infinitely easier. That’s not even fair!

I, for one, am outraged. Hmm, maybe if I tell them it’s not very good they won’t play it . . .

It is with begrudged agreement that I give you today’s preview card. Never mind my last few statements: after, um, reading closer, it appears I was mistaken. This new Ritual spell is terrible. Have a look for yourself . . .

Advanced Ritual Art     Ritual Spell

Send Normal Monsters from your Deck to the Graveyard whose total Levels are equal to that of a Ritual Monster in your hand. Ritual Summon that monster.

Nothing very good there, hmm? I mean, previously, the big problem with Ritual monsters was that they’d take at least three and often as many as five cards to summon. Then a savvy opponent would just destroy the resulting Ritual monster with something like Smashing Ground, ruining all the hard work of the determined Ritual duelist. Sure, with this you can bring out virtually any Ritual for just two cards—this one and the Ritual monster itself—but is that really that much better?

I say no—it isn’t. Also, you should definitely ignore the fact that Blue-Eyes White Dragon and last week’s preview, Gene-Warped Warwolf, happen to provide ample support for this card when you run three of each in your Ritual deck. And you definitely shouldn’t give a passing glance to these scrubby cards . . .

Dark Master - Zorc

Does anyone even remember this old thing? Of course not. It just isn’t worthy of memory. Still, I suppose we have to discuss it, so here’s a little refresher course for those of you requiring remedial studies:

Dark Master - Zorc   Fiend / Ritual / Effect         

Dark    Level 8                  2700 ATK / 1500 DEF

This card can only be Ritual Summoned with the Ritual Spell Card, "Contract with the Dark Master." You must also Tribute monsters whose total Levels equal 8 or more from the field or your hand. During your turn, you can roll 1 six-sided die. If the result is 1 or 2, destroy all monsters on your opponent's side of the field. If the result is 3, 4, or 5, destroy 1 monster on your opponent's side of the field. If the result is 6, destroy all monsters on your side of the field.

You can ignore the first line, because you will be able to properly Ritual summon any monster with that text through Advanced Ritual Art. Instead, focus on those unimpressive stats and lame effect. 2700 ATK? Who would be impressed by that?! I’m sure we all use far bigger monsters than this one.

And that effect! It just destroys all your own monsters! I mean, it certainly could balance the loss of Advanced Ritual Art from your hand the moment Zorc hits play, while also clearing the field for a direct attack, but sometimes it might not. Is that the kind of risk you want to take?

. . . STOP NODDING EMPHATICALLY!

Dear me, this isn’t going very well . . . Well, let’s take a look at another Ritual you probably won’t want to build a deck around.

Shinato, King of a Higher Plane

What a stupid name! You certainly won’t want to use this monster with Advanced Ritual Art . . .

Shinato, King of a Higher Plane       Fairy / Ritual / Effect

Light Level 8  3300 ATK / 3000 DEF

This card can only be Ritual Summoned with the Ritual Spell Card, "Shinato's Ark." You must also Tribute monsters whose total Levels equal 8 or more from the field or your hand. When this card destroys a Defense Position monster and sends it to the Graveyard as a result of battle, inflict damage to your opponent's Life Points equal to the original ATK of the destroyed monster.

Sure, Shinato’s ATK is high enough to scare any duelist into setting monsters, and when they do, it can destroy them to generate oodles of damage, but is that really worth a whole two cards? There are plenty of ways to turn an opponent’s monster to defense position so Shinato can smash them, like Book of Moon and Enemy Controller. You could block an attack from a Monarch or Jinzo, and then run it over for 2400 damage, but to me that just seems excessive. Winning isn’t everything you know. I’m sure your opponent will be saddened enough by the loss of his or her big monster . . . and the fact that the he or she won’t ever have a chance at defeating Shinato in battle.

It’s important to mind your manners and behave in a ladylike or gentlemanly fashion when dueling! Personally, I think crushing an opponent on this level is just unsporting. Next!

Reshef the Dark Being

This one’s even smaller than the last two! Look at its pathetically low ATK . . .

Reshef the Dark Being         Fiend / Ritual / Effect         

Light Level 8            2500 ATK / 1500 DEF

This card can only be Ritual Summoned with the Ritual Spell Card, "Final Ritual of the Ancients." Discard 1 Spell Card from your hand. Take control of 1 monster on your opponent's side of the field until the End Phase. You can only use this effect once per turn.

2500 ATK is almost as pathetic as the 2400 the Monarchs have! And only taking control of one monster per turn? That’s rubbish if you ask me. I don’t like using my spell cards for extra effects that I wouldn’t normally have access to: that’s just being lazy, and all of your spell cards should be perfectly useful on their own anyway. Do you have Nobleman of Crossout in your hand and the opponent refuses to set a monster? Lump it! Confiscation when you have less than 1000 life points left? You had it coming!

All this card does is make your spell cards better, let you use opposing monsters as tribute fodder, and eliminate opposing threats while turning them into allies. Frankly, I am not impressed. Hmph.

An Un-Noteworthy Coincidence

The astute amongst you may have noticed that all three of the above monsters are level 8, meaning that just one Blue-Eyes White Dragon or two Gene-Warped Warwolf cards would be enough to bring out any of them. The really pesky ones amongst your ranks may also have thought of combining this card with another preview from last week: Birthright. You could, for instance, use Advanced Ritual Art to send Blue-Eyes to the graveyard, bring out a big Ritual, and then use Birthright to summon Blue-Eyes to the field as well. You may even see a great deal of synergy between all these little strategies, and might be cooking up a decklist as I continue this very lecture.

Those people get detention!

You certainly shouldn’t be researching other Ritual monsters either. Sending Warwolf to the graveyard to bring out Paladin of White Dragon and then tributing it to special summon one of those Blue-Eyes White Dragon cards you’re already running from your deck? That’s sissy-summoning, in my books! Do it right and tribute two monsters after waiting to draw Blue-Eyes like a real duelist. If you persist in building an Advanced Ritual Art deck, don’t even consider Legendary Flame Lord’s ability to wipe the entire field clear of monsters, nor Elemental Mistress Doriado and Fuh-Rin-Ka-Zan. Four forbidden card effects in one chainable trap? That’s just lazy.

So don’t play this card. It’s not very good, and you don’t deserve it anyway. In fact, if you open any at your Strike of Neos Sneak Preview this weekend, just bring them to me on Monday and leave them on my desk.