Let’s move into the final installment of this series of articles about mind games. I’ve been saving some of my favorites for the end, so if you’ve been following these articles and wondering when I’m going to get to “The Veteran” and the “I’m Channeling Kaiba” players, your patience is about to be rewarded.

The Nanny

This player is usually an older duelist, a judge, or someone who jumped in from another game. Whatever the reasoning, this player thinks he or she knows it all and is determined to share it with you. The nanny explains gameplay, talks a lot, and often alludes to his or her age and experience. This player is the fake beginner’s evil twin—the Nanny gets under your skin by acting like you don’t know what you’re doing, and it usually works remarkably well. Most duelists can handle trash talk and fidgety players, but being treated like a newbie drives them wild. The best way to handle a Nanny is to gaze back at him or her calmly, smile, chime “Okay,” and then proceed with your game.

Pink Sleeves

Float like a butterfly, sting like a B-52. This game is popular with, but not limited to, female duelists. They look all “girly” with glittery pink card sleeves, and more often than not their opponents think, “Heh, a Harpie deck—this will be a cinch.” Five turns later, those opponents are on the floor and wondering what happened. I’ve played this game myself on many occasions. It’s a lot of fun to tear down an opponent with a vicious Beatdown hybrid cloaked in sparkly pink sleeves, especially if that opponent is so blinded by prejudice that he or she never sees my deck coming. I’m not pretending I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just using these shiny, pretty sleeves and letting you draw your own conclusions. If you assume that a lightweight deck lies behind my pastel sparkles, and you go down hard in front of all your macho friends, don’t come crying to me. 

Home Field Advantage

It’s the old “away vs. home” rivalry. This duelist is on his or her home turf, knows the local metagame, knows the other players, and treats you like an outsider. Congratulations, you are now an automatic newbie, since “nobody” plays as well as the players from “here.” Some players are so easily offended by this approach that they end up making stupid mistakes. Combine the outrage of being treated like an inferior with an opponent who knows the local metagame, and you can be thrown off your stride. Oh, and just so you know, “the posse” is going to get involved at some point. Read any message board thread about a Shonen Jump Championship, and you’ll find a lot of banter back –and forth about which local hero will turn back the invading barbarians and claim the Cyber-Stein for the home team. If you run up against this, remember that any advantage the home fielder enjoys will depend on how many locals are in the tournament and how good the local metagame is. If the bulk of the event consists of outsiders who have different decks or a better grasp on the game, the home field advantage might not amount to much.

I’m Channeling Kaiba!

This player sits down and starts acting like a character from the anime—in a bad way. Some people act like this to joke around, but some of them come across as totally serious. This game is rather effective, because the fear of losing to a wacko can make you completely paranoid. Kaiba and Yugi channelers don’t always have solid grasps on gameplay. Because they’re acting like they’re on the show, they can be loud and attract a lot of attention. You’ve got a few options: you can try to beat them as quickly as possible and hope they don’t freak out, or you can join in on the show if you’re familiar with the characters. If you start to lose your cool, respond with a good dose of “the Nanny.” A friendly explanation of why yelling, “Double daaaark Magic attaaaaack . . . Nooooooow!” violates the correct resolution of the battle phase will help Kaiba or Yugi run out of steam and keep you from losing your temper.

I’m a Level (Whatever) Judge, so Listen to Me

Well, in this event, you’re a player, so shut up. Lots of players try to intimidate opponents by waving around a real or imaginary judge level. I’ve encountered this one plenty of times. Opponents have tried to bluff me by saying, “I’m a level 3 judge, so I know I’m right!” In the early days of the judge program, it was amusing to respond with, “Actually, I’m a level 3 judge, and I know all five of the other level 3 judges personally. I’m quite certain that I don’t recognize you.” It doesn’t matter if a player is a level 10 judge—if he or she is there as a player, then he or she is only a player. If you give in to an opponent who plays the judge card, then you deserve whatever you get. There are actual judges at the event. Ask them about rulings and ignore any nasty remarks your opponent might make about your knowledge of the game.

Junior Member of the Law Firm of Loophole & Cheapwin

This player watches you like a hawk, just waiting for you to make the tiniest game error. Then, up goes a hand, here comes a judge, and you’re being threatened with a game loss. The best way to deal with this kind of mind game is to know the penalty guidelines and be careful in your play. There are few errors that actually merit a game loss, and as long as you watch what you’re doing, those errors are easy to avoid. Make sure you announce every single phase and action, and always check with your legal eagle to see if he or she wishes to respond. Get a clear answer! You don’t want to get tripped up over a mumble.