This week, I’ll continue with Part 2 of the series I started a few weeks ago. I’m sorry for the month-long delay, but a few other ideas came about and I felt inspired to write them up. Recently, I’ve been asked the same questions by a lot of my friends and players that I meet at events: "Hey Bryan, what happened to Part 2 of that article?" Whether that’s indicative of the popularity of Part 1, or just a disdain for being left hanging by a columnist, I have no idea! Either way, I feel that if I wait any longer I’ll have some pretty angry readers. Let’s get to it!
Lesson #5: Don’t Neglect Your Responsibilities
I love card games. I started playing them in high school and neglected a lot of my responsibilities. Unfortunately it didn’t get any better when I started going to college at UCF. My appetite for competition, intellectual stimulation, and grandeur kept me from my studies. I would go to tournaments every weekend, write articles, and even play during the week whenever I could. If there was a Regional Qualifier anywhere in Florida, I would be there. It didn’t matter how much it cost or how long it took to practice. I was on a team and ready to show everyone what I was made of.
Long story short: my days at UCF didn’t end well because I spent too much time neglecting my studies. I lost my scholarships and was forced to leave or bear the weight of paying for four years’ worth of schooling. I didn’t have a job at the time, so the best choice was to go home and face the music. All in all, it turned out okay for me. I went back to school at another institution just weeks later, and I got my Associate of Science Degree in Software Applications Programming which led to a good job. But I learned an important lesson.
Lesson #4: Sleep is Your Best Friend
This is only half-true, and it’s damaging to your stamina and possibly your health if you do it for long. I guess it’s not too bad when you’re a teenager or young adult, but I wouldn’t advocate it. We’re not built to consciously focus on everything: your brain is there so that it can do the work for you. When you don’t sleep, it may feel like you are more focused and greatly aware of your surroundings, but that’s only because you’re using your conscious brain more than your unconscious brain. You’re forced to concentrate exceptionally hard just to stay awake.
Lesson #3: Know What You’re Trying to Accomplish
It’s difficult to stop and reflect on what you do on a daily or weekly basis, but the introspection pays off handsomely. One of the more important questions to ask while doing anything is: "What am I trying to accomplish?" It’s a tough question because we frequently aren’t aware of our true motives. Why is it that you do what you do? That question isn’t meant to debase or ridicule your efforts, but to force proper inspection of your actions and where they lead.
For example, let’s say that you go out on most weekdays and every weekend to attend a few tournaments. What are you trying to accomplish? If you’re anything like me, then you’re looking for a good time with your friends. Or maybe you’re ambitious and want to win the World Championship someday. Which is more important? Which aim is more worthy? They’re both the same and depend on the value that you assign to each. When having a good time with your friends was your most important aim and it suddenly takes a back seat to tournament greatness, then that’s the time to ask what your motives are. Have they changed? Or have you simply decided to go after something you thought would be more exciting because someone else was having a good time doing it?
Do what you do because you want to, not because someone or something else has convinced you that the grass is greener on the other side. Some players simply thrive on the competitive challenge. Some want to be a part of a respected team and that’s it. They don’t have to accomplish anything: they just want to belong to a good group. That’s fine too. Just make sure you do it with integrity. That is, make sure you are fully aware of what you are trying to accomplish and what it means to you.
Lesson #2: There is More Than One Way to Get "There"
When you want to earn money and have a place of your own, your game priorities and your life priorities begin to clash. Do you go to the Shonen Jump near you or do you work those extra hours to get the rent paid this month? Do you practice four hours for the next big tournament or do you spend those hours with your significant other because you work so much? For some players these questions are no-brainers, but for others they are tough. I know it was tough for me and I’ve worked hard to reconcile those conflicts. It’s difficult to juggle everything and doing so requires more than rudimentary time management. There’s a need to prioritize. Fortunately, there is more than one way to get "there."
There are alternatives to the typical vision of success (tournament prowess) such as becoming the best trader, judge, collector, writer, or a member of the best team. Those are worthy goals, in my opinion. They are just as worthy as tournament success. I think the "trick" is that you have to come to terms with what you’re really trying to get out of the game. It may not be related to tournaments at all.
Lesson #1: Envy and Jealousy are Poisonous
When was the last time you had any fun being envious of someone else and his or her success? Being jealous is indeed always miserable. You start comparing yourself to impossible standards—standards that you yourself do not set. When another player qualifies for Nationals more quickly than you, what does it matter? If someone gets to his or her Shonen Jump Top 8 before you do, does that matter? The answers to those questions are obvious: they don’t. But to some players they do, and for a while it mattered to me too.
Envy is a dangerous thing because it forces you to commit to strange behavior in order to reconcile feelings of self-doubt and self-resentment. We’ll go very far to live up to standards we’ll never meet. I think it’s important to have confidence in your own abilities and some patience with your rate of growth. You may not be as good a player as Dale Bellido or "T," but I’m sure if you keep at it, you’ll get there faster without sulking.
It’s also perfectly fine if you don’t ever get to that level. That may not even be your primary goal. You may think it is, because of natural tendencies we all have, but careful self-examination may reveal that you don’t actually care about it. You may want recognition for something you achieved, and tournament success just may not be the right avenue. Learn to appreciate what you have. Ignore negative feelings about others’ successes that have nothing to do with what you’re trying to accomplish. Good for them! Keep doing what you’re doing because you’ll triumph in your own way.
Final Thoughts
This two-part article is mostly for you, the reader. These are lessons that took years to learn and have been condensed into short bites for you to digest. I’ve managed to reconcile a lot of the difficulties in the past and I felt it was only appropriate to share them with you. You may be experiencing the same struggles that I have or maybe you’re just starting. Whatever the case, take some time to process these small bits of advice and see if they resonate with you. Thank you for reading!
—Bryan Camareno