Last week, I talked about several kinds of mind games I’ve encountered over the years. Some of these work better than others, but they all lose a lot of their effectiveness once you identify what’s going on and can choose to ignore or counter them. Did you recognize any of last week’s tactics? I’m back with more this week—so let’s find out how many of these you’ve seen before!
The Posse
Is there anyone out there who hasn’t experienced this one? You’re focused on the game, but it gradually sinks in that you’re completely surrounded by all of your opponent’s friends. They’re hanging over your opponent’s shoulders, leaning over yours, sitting in the chairs, and clogging up the aisles. You might feel like a tidal wave is about to break right on top of you. They comment on the game and talk back and forth to each other. Judges hate this, and if these spectators aren’t in your posse, you’ll hate it too. They might suggest plays to your opponent, and there’s always the possibility that one of them is looking at your hand and passing along that information to your opponent—I’ve had that happen to me more times than I can remember! Always keep your cards close to your chest, and if needed, tell the spectators to back away. You’re completely within your rights to do this. If the spectators won’t leave when you ask them, go ahead and call a judge. While observers have the right to watch a match, they have to keep a reasonable distance from the game.
Crocodile Tears
This one drives me crazy. The game starts going badly, and your opponent starts to cry. This tactic is most popular with younger kids, but I’ve seen older people do it too, and it can really pour on the guilt. It happened a lot on the mall tour. While I didn’t often make my opponents cry, it was still frustrating. Some people are totally faking it, hoping to earn your pity and get you to throw the game. This hasn’t worked on me yet, and it shouldn’t work on you either. I’ve found that the best response is to hand your opponent a tissue if you have one (unused, please) and give him or her a hearty, “Well, you win some and you lose some!” Mocking the crier isn’t a good way to go, since in the best-case scenario, a judge might give you a warning for unsportsmanlike conduct, and in the worst-case scenario, one of your opponent’s parents will decide to go after you, which is never pretty.
Keep in mind that some people just cry when they’re in tense or disappointing situations. Crying is an emotional response that’s not much different from anger, so if you’ve ever thrown your deck or cursed out of anger, you don’t have much to sneer at.
The Motormouth
Heeeey, batter-batter-batter! This player will not shut up. The motormouth will chatter about this and that until you can’t even remember which phase of the turn it is. Sometimes, motormouths are just talkative people who make the most out of a captive audience. Other times, they’re trying to drown you in a sea of useless noise until you make a stupid mistake. You can try to out-talk them, and if you choose that route, I wish you luck. You’ll probably have better results if you tune out anything that has nothing to do with the game.
The Deflector
Wow, look over there! It’s Dark Magician Girl! A variation of the motormouth, this player does whatever it takes to remove your focus from the game and prevent you from watching the field. The deflector might play with lucky figurines sitting off to the side of the game, or he or she might gaze in openmouthed amazement at something over your shoulder, hoping that you’ll yield to curiosity and turn around. Perhaps he or she will crack jokes or make comments about plays at other tables. You need to be careful with this player. Sometimes, he or she is only hoping to confuse you, but other times, the deflector is setting an extra card, peeking at his or her deck, or drawing an extra card. The best way to deal with a deflector is to resist the temptation of being distracted. Pay attention to what’s going on, especially when the deflector is trying hard to get your attention.
The Dating Game
It’s a popular belief that dating and card games don’t mix, but they come together neatly in this particular ploy. Duelists who are confident of their charms can dress to impress and flirt with opponents to gain advantages. You won’t see this tactic often since male players outnumber female ones, and this sort of game will most likely take place between players of opposite genders. I’ve seen both sides of this strategy. When the mall tour was on, the Millennium Puzzle area would sometimes get female entrants who would come in wearing low-cut shirts. The line directors got a kick out of sending these girls to play against me. Since I’m not that distracted by somebody else’s cleavage, playing against me scuttled that strategy. I’ve also been on the receiving end of a variety of pick-up lines, smooth talk, and “Hey, baby,” smiles from male opponents. I suppose it’s possible that one or two may have been serious, but most of them were trying to break down my guard. Alas, I’m not flattered that easily. If you run into this game, go ahead and have fun with it if you like, but remember that it’s just a strategy. Don’t let an attractive opponent throw you off your game.
I’m a Beginner!
Oh, is this ever a popular strategy. This player acts like a newbie to fool an opponent and then swoops in for the kill. This strategy is most popular with younger kids, but I’ve seen plenty of adults do it, too. The “beginner” sets down his or her unsleeved deck, smiles nervously, and says, “I just started playing a few weeks ago, so go easy on me!” Maybe it’s true, but maybe it isn’t, so you should bring your best game no matter what. This strategy can be devastatingly effective, and it’s fun to watch when you’re at an event where players choose their opponents, like a Sneak Preview. I love watching weaker players who cruise through leagues and Previews, angling for younger opponents. These weaker players are hoping for quick and easy wins, but seeing them get smoked by pint-sized prodigies is pure enjoyment.
When you’re faced with an opponent who claims to be a beginner, you can certainly indulge him or her up to a point. Make sure that you’re playing in a clear and easy-to-understand manner, but if you want to give your opponent extra breaks, that’s entirely up to you. Mercy isn’t always repaid in kind, so don’t expect your opponent to return any favors if it turns out that he or she is quite skilled.
That wraps up this week’s article! If you’re in a tournament or league, observe your opponents and see if you recognize anything that we covered today. I’ll finish the series next week, when you’ll learn about “Pink Sleeves” and “Charm Schoolers.” See you next week!