Here I am, playing a Vs. match against this guy named Carl, who’s also called “The Crusher.” Needless to say, Carl is a big-name player, and boy, is he arrogant. So far, I’ve been pretty lucky. I’ve had some good draws, and my characters in play outweigh his. I can tell Carl’s a little upset because I am, after all, a scrub, but I try to push all the other thoughts from my mind and focus on the game.
It’s my initiative. While Carl drums his fingers on his deck, I study my hand to determine which plot twist to play as a resource. I put down Teen Titans Go!, then play Garth ◊ Tempest, Atlantean Sorcerer next to Roy Harper ◊ Arsenal, Sharpshooter.
Carl stops drumming and deigns to lift his gaze just high enough to glower at me. “Are you done?” he asks, and I hear an impatient little sigh in his voice.
Like the biggest dolt in the world, I automatically reply, “Yeah.” But even as the word slips from my lips, I realize that I should move Roy Harper behind Garth, so I can reinforce if necessary. But it’s too late, and my formation step has passed. Carl quickly plays a resource before I can do or say anything else.
Thus, I let myself become intimidated, and I played right into Carl’s crushing hand.
Minimize Mistakes
Rare is the tournament-level Vs. player who hasn’t been the recipient of intimidation tactics. Unfortunately, many players see intimidation as part of the metagame. After all, players who feel intimidated are likely not playing to their full potential. They might feel distracted, uncertain, or inferior—and that’s exactly what the intimidator wants, because players who feel threatened make mistakes. Intimidation can come in many forms. I’ve felt intimidated by bullies, know-it-alls, trash talkers, and even by whiners.
It took me a while to see that I was making mistakes—not necessarily because I was a poor strategist, but because I felt intimidated. And I know I’m not the only one (even though a lot of players won’t admit it). That’s why it’s important to recognize intimidation tactics for what they are. Because once you know that your opponent is trying to coerce you into making mistakes, it’s a lot easier to deflect his or her attempts.
Here’s a rundown of some of the villains that you’ll find on Team Intimidation.
Harassment Man
Harassment Man likes to bully you into making errors. He’s probably wearing a permanent frown, and will snap or laugh at you at every opportunity. At the same time, Harassment Man will criticize you for making (real or imagined) mistakes and may get vocally upset when he suffers endurance loss (as though your attacks are aimed at him rather than the characters on the board). For example, he may snicker when you play Big Bear, or curse loudly when you break through with Big Barda. For added effect, he may mutter under his breath about how lucky you are. Harassment Man is probably going to hurry you as well. As soon as he’s done with his turn, he might tell you to “go.” When he sees you thinking, he’ll ask if you’re done. He might slide the top card of his deck around as though he can’t wait to draw it. Or he’ll sigh loudly when you take the time to read all the cards in play. For added effect, he may tilt his head back and groan morosely.
Doctor Know-It-All
This rules lawyer thinks that he knows everything about Vs, including the best cards in any given set, the best decks, and every single Vs. rule there is to know. Most often, Doctor Know-It-All is a Level 1 judge (though he’s probably failed the test to become a Level 2). Doctor Know-It-All doesn’t have to actually know anything—he just has to act like he does. He may start by pretending he knows several of the R&D guys at Upper Deck (like Dave Humphreys or Andrew Yip). Then he may chat about how he was asked to playtest a certain set. This lays the groundwork for what’s to come. Once the match gets going, he’ll watch you carefully to make sure you’re doing everything by the book. He may point out your mistake if you exhaust a character for an attack before he’s had a chance to declare the attack to be legal. Or he may derisively ask why you didn’t attack with Superman, Clark Kent, as though he knows how to play your deck better than you do.
The Super Baby
The Super Baby is a whiner, plain and simple. He intimidates you by making you feel guilty for how oppressed and unlucky he is, thus persuading you to make concessions. The Super Baby may start by mentioning (in passing) how all his Vs. cards were stolen at the last tournament. When he draws his opening hand, he may shake his head and mutter about how he has the worst luck of anyone he knows. When he makes a mistake, he may plead with you to let him take the play back. Throughout the game, he might talk about how he only needs a few more Pro Circuit Credits to qualify for the next Pro Circuit tournament. He may even beg you to let him win so he can go.
Captain Big Mouth
This trash talker demoralizes opponents by hurling insults at them during the match. Captain Big Mouth may repeat ad nauseam how you’re “going down” and how he’s going to “kick you to the curb.” He may try everything from insulting your mother to commenting on your physical appearance. Captain Big Mouth also tends to dishearten players by doubting their intelligence. For example, he might question your timing when you flip over A Day Unlike Any Other. Or, he may raise his eyebrows when you use A Second Chance to save your Helmut Zemo ◊ Baron Zemo, Uber Enemy.
Put Up Your Defenses
Such intimidation tactics may not seem troublesome if you experience them only once in awhile, but when they’re piled on top of each other, they can fluster you. That’s precisely what intimidation villains like to do, because they know that the flustered player is more likely to make mistakes. It’s important to remember that, though there’s nothing in the Vs. System rulebook that says, “don’t deliberately intimidate your opponent,” judges consider this to be unsportsmanlike conduct and will penalize players whose abuse gets out of hand. With that said, you’ll probably still sit across from a player who tries to intimidate you in some way.
But that’s not to say that these super villains can’t be stopped. Here are three tactics that you can use to thwart some of the most common intimidation tricks.
1. Ignore him. Yes, sometimes ignoring obnoxious behavior is easier said than done, but tuning out your insufferable opponent is one of the most effective means of dealing with intimidation tactics—and you’ll be the bigger person for it. Many trash talkers will shut up if they see that they’re not getting a reaction. But if you respond in kind, you’ll only egg them on. For the most part, you can ignore rules lawyers and whiners, but the bully who’s trying to hurry you into making mistakes might require a different defense.
2. Be witty. If your opponent is trying to hurry you, politely ask if he has somewhere else to be . . . or if he has to go to the bathroom . . . or if he’s on a caffeine high . . . but you get the idea. These defensive tactics work well on whiners, too. When the Super Baby moans about how he can never draw the cards he needs, ask him why he even bothers to play the game. If his whining is especially insufferable, you might play the world’s tiniest violin for him (you know—where you rub your thumb and index finger together). And when that pesky know-it-all is trying to unnerve you by pointing out what he sees as your mistakes, summon up a look of awe and say something like, “You must be a Level 4 judge!” Or ask what his UDE ranking is. (But make sure he’s not a top-ranked player, or else this attempt at witticism will quickly turn around and bite you.)
3. Ask him to stop. Let him know that you’re annoyed by his behavior and point out that you know what he’s trying to do. When the whiner asks if he can take his move back, for example, you could nicely explain that you’re playing to have fun, but you’re also playing to win, just as he is, so it wouldn’t be fair to let him fix past mistakes. (Granted, some players are more easygoing than others. I’m likely to let opponents take back stupid moves if they catch them within a reasonable amount of time, but many players are not, and there’s nothing wrong with that.) If you’re finding it difficult to tune out the trash talker, first ask him to please be quiet so you can concentrate. If he continues, warn him that you’ll call a judge—and then follow up on your threat. If you’re dealing with a nit-picky rules lawyer, ask him to concentrate on his own game rather than picking apart every move you make.
All Is Not Fair . . .
For some players, intimidation tactics might seem perfectly fair, but some players walk a fine line between what they consider to be “playing the metagame” and being downright obnoxious. These are the players who will try anything to exploit the game, but they’re the ones who risk getting penalized, as well as risking a bad reputation. But remember, you don’t have to leave it up to the judges. You can take matters into your own hands by putting up your own defenses.
Dejà Vu
Here we go again, but this time I know that Carl the Crusher is deliberately messing with my head and I’m determined not to let him get to me.
It’s my initiative. I study my hand to determine which plot twist to play as a resource. Then I lay down Garth next to Roy Harper.
“Are you done?” Carl asks. He’s got a resource in one hand, ready to slap it down.
I look up from the table and do my best to look annoyed. “No, I’m not done,” I say. And then, taking my time so he can see that his rushing tactic isn’t going to work, I rearrange my characters. Then I deliberately check all the cards in play to make sure there’s nothing I’ve forgotten. I check the cards in my hand. Then I say, “Now I’m done.”
Or the scenario could have gone this way.
“Are you done?” Carl asks. He’s holding one of his cards like it’s a hot potato.
“That must be some amazing card you’re holding,” I say. “You obviously can’t wait to play it.”
Or it could go this way.
It’s my initiative. While Carl drums his fingers on his deck, I lay down Garth next to Roy Harper.
Carl stops drumming and sighs impatiently. “Are you done?” he asks, scowling.
I sit up straighter in my chair. “You know,” I say. “You’re disrupting my concentration with all this ‘Are you done?’ rush, rush, rush behavior. Can you cut it out?”
Whichever way my game plays out, I’m better off than I was when I let Carl ruin my concentration—when I let him intimidate me into saying I was finished with my build phase, even though I wasn’t. And at the same time, perhaps Carl realizes that even though I might be a scrub, his intimidation tactics aren’t going to work on me.