Parallel Lives: The Flu Shot Gone Wrong
Garfield Mark Logan makes a return to cardstock as a partying, shape-shifting Teen Titans 3-drop. It is a very little-known fact that I have a lot in common with the Beast Boy. Although we have a few physical differences, he is what we call on the street “my people.” I used to be a fairly physically fit teenager, and now I look like a bear. I dated a girl named Terra and played on a sports team. You guessed it. . . the Titans. I had an older friend in college named Raven and learned to shoot a gun from an instructor named Roy. If that does not beat all you have ever imagined, there is one even more remarkable parallel in our lives: I once got really sick and turned a slight shade of green. I could practically be Garfield Logan’s twin brother.
Being sick is not a preferred activity, though, and now I find myself standing in the doctor’s office annually, awaiting an influenza vaccination derived from chicken embryos. When the young “Gar” was faced with the life-threatening Sakutia illness, he was similarly vaccinated. Fortunately for the DC universe, the Teen Titans, and eventually the Doom Patrol, our young super hero received a very special serum. Instead of a chicken egg, a little green monkey sponsored Beast Boy’s recovery while unintentionally imparting the gift of shape shifting. Like the medically useful monkey, Beast Boy’s skin and hair turned green. He could morph into various animals and typically sported an emerald glow.
I cannot really transform into any animals, but people have called me lots of names like “Dawg,” “Rat,” and most recently, “Jackass.” I may not have the ability to shift forms, but I evidently have the ability to portray myself as an animal in the metaphoric sense.
Yeah, Beast Boy and I have a great deal in common. That made my evaluation of his character and power very difficult. Before you can make an objective analysis of a situation (or in our case a card evaluation), you need some emotional space and distance. Evaluating Beast Boy is like evaluating myself, and we all know how hard that can be. Therefore, I would like to skip this shot at objectivity; instead, I would like to make a very opinionated, emotional plea.
Psychological Profile
Don’t play this card because you like the Teen Titans. Don’t play this card because of its stats or abilities. Don’t play this card for the art. Play this card because it's the right thing to do. Beast Boy has had a hard life. His parents died in a boating accident. His adopted father went mad due to a helmet that he used to fight crime, and he eventually fell in love with Terra. Tara Markov was later discovered to be a spy that hated the Teen Titans, and she instead fell for Deathstroke. His girlfriend was a spy! His adoptive family perished along with other members of the Doom Patrol, and he failed as an actor in L.A. Eventually, he was framed for a bunch of crimes he didn't commit and earned the hatred of his archnemesis, the Zookeeper!
Just imagine the chances of being a guy who can transform into wild animals and running into a villain based on zoo-keeping. Beast Boy has had a ton of tough breaks; his best friend Cyborg is practically a robot and his newest love interest, Raven, planted the seed of her demon father inside of him. Awkward.
After all those tough beats, we should give this guy at least one obligatory spot in all of our decks. He’s a common, he’s stylish, and he deserves it. This guy can turn into dinosaurs, tigers, monkeys, and all kinds of other stuff. What more could a player desire? Every Vs. deck should pack at least one dinosaur super hero.
Preview of the Party Animal
If you did not fall for my heartfelt plea, then perhaps I might convince you with logical arguments and interesting ideas. I know, I know. . . the whole proving-arguments-with-reason thing is so played out. But if it worked for a bunch of dead Greek philosophers, then maybe it will work for my readership.
The first step in card evaluation begins with a review of cost, stats, team affiliations, keywords, powers, and other game-related characteristics a card might offer. Beast Boy, Party Animal arrives at the identical cost as his prior version, putting him in a sort of competition with himself. You might play one or the other but rarely both.
He has the new substitute keyword, however. Essentially, you can remove a character you control from the game with a recruit cost greater than or equal to Beast Boy’s and replace it with the Party Animal. His power is somewhat nifty, too; if you drop the green Titan on turn 3 with three resources, he is a somewhat average 4 ATK / 4 DEF with flight. But with every turn that passes, he comes into play larger and stronger. Later in the game, Beast Boy can substitute for a weak 3-drop you have in play and bolster your forces on a critical turn. (By turn 18 he comes into play as the most massive 3-drop ever!)
The fact that substitute can only be used with a ready, unexhausted target excludes a number of abusive or degenerate interactions, such as with Teen Titans Go!. The new keyword piques my interest, and I am sure that it will offer players a chance for some new-style gameplay. The best part of new mechanics is the expansion of game complexity and the potential open doors that a character might offer. The common Beast Boy will be useful as a late-arriving 3-drop in a low-dropping build, and might have some synergies with other substitute characters. He gives us a new take on his old shape-shifting ability, and it seems that we will have to wait and see what the new team themes and potential synergies offer before completely understanding this changeling. Beast Boy offers players a fan favorite character, a new keyword, and a new power with which to toy. Seems like a winner to me!
Jeremy “Kingpin” Blair (7-drop, TAWC) is a psychologist and aspiring Pro Circuit Champion from Tampa, Florida. He wrote in Mike Barnes and Shane Wiggans for Congress in the last election. If you have constructive comments or questions, feel free to contact him at Tampakingpin@yahoo.com.
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