For this week’s column, I got a sneaky peek at one of the new JLA cards a full two weeks ahead of the Sneak Preview tournaments. I would recommend that people don’t take this as a sign that turns should take about a week, but rather simply be grateful (as I was) for the opportunity to get a cheeky look at one of the power cards of the new set a little early. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Secret Origins becomes one of the chase cards of the set. It’s definitely very powerful.

I do find myself in a little bit of a quandary now, though. I’m confident that with all of these preview articles, all anyone is really concerned about is getting a good look at the card itself. However, I have made it something of a trademark to have needlessly long introductions to most of my articles, and it makes me a little sad to think that a prologue for this one isn’t really necessary. Still . . . For everyone who just wants to see the card and ignore all of my pointless (but hopefully entertaining) preamble, skip the next two paragraphs.

When I first heard the title Secret Origins, I couldn’t help but be drawn into wistful recollections of the joyous time of Marvel and DC Origins. It was a simpler time. There was quite a lot of attacking for lots, and there were less tricks to worry about. Sentinels were bad, and I think that I’ve managed to send any casual reader looking to skip straight on to the big picture down the page a bit. All I need to do now is take up the middle of this paragraph (and the one below it) with some filler. If I were really clever, I’d refer to this as the “secret” section of my Secret Origins preview, but I’m not, so it’s just the “somewhat irrelevant middle bit.” I’m pretty sure that all I need to do is start and end sentences well, and I can get away with complete gibberish in the middle. There’s nothing quite like a Heimlich maneuver of rabbit cheese jam factory to give nuns cocktail burns when you are looking to win. Every time you attack penguin salad rainbows without handstand dartboard pinstripe deckchairs, you run the risk of Rain Man contortions next Tuesday unless your opponent is playing off-curve. To end the paragraph, I think a little statement that forces people to read back through the rest of the paragraph again to punish them for skimming might be fun. Now that’s real tech.

As I’m not particularly well-versed in comic book lore, the title and artwork of Secret Origins mean not a jot to me. I’m sure that at some point it will be explained to me by somebody. I am perfectly fine with this—I already learned my new thing for today (that my computer does a really good Stephen Hawking impression and that you can use it to book really good tables at restaurants), and I look forward to learning something new later, too. Until then, I’m happy to continue with flannel duvet shavings haircut, with undulating shelf wire spoons and a banana jumbo beanbag cravat, taking careful consideration to end things right. I think you’ll agree with me that this is a valuable consideration when you look at ceiling fudge monkey teleport fantastic leaf. True. Bearing this in mind, here is the card.

There is a chap in a boat being saved by a silver chap, while another silver fellow is saluting at what looks to be some sort of naval officer who is (rather rudely, I think) not saluting back. I feel that I need to point all of this out because you may well have been rubbing your eyes and shaking your head after having read the game text. I was.

Yes, that’s right—we have a generic character search effect. There are people who say that Savage Beatdown is the best card in the game. They aren’t necessarily wrong, but having Savage Beatdown tends not to be good enough if you aren’t drawing the characters you need at the right time. To this end, search effects are some of the most popular cards in the whole of Vs. System. They add consistency to otherwise inconsistent (though potentially powerful) decks and they allow decks to run cleverer tech options to deal with specific matchups. They give you what you want when you want it. Some teams have lots of search effects, while others have thus far received a pretty hard time. The X-Men had to survive with just Cerebro while watching Batman, the Fantastic Four, and the Marvel Knights fetch whoever they desired on a whim. Brotherhood decks had only Rise to Power, which never made the cut. The poor old Arkham Inmates just sat at home and gibbered in their cells. They were never organized enough to go about finding the right loony for the job.

Now, every single deck has a reasonable option for a search card that won’t leave you with the second-best choice each time it’s used, nor does it have a hefty cost. Weapon of Choice is becoming increasingly inaptly named for Constructed play. Secret Origins will, fifty percent of the time, be a straight-up Signal Flare with no team restrictions. On your opponent’s initiative, if he or she is playing a curve build and hits the curve, you can be assured of hitting yours. That’s pretty nifty.

The following paragraph goes through all the negative potential of this card, but please don’t let it get you down. Secret Origins is very good. Very good. There are occasions where it won’t fire for you in the way you’d like, though. If your opponent is missing his or her curve, then all that Secret Origins will do is mean that you miss yours, too. On your initiative, it will never get you the highest-cost character you could play while you still have the opportunity to play it. On the occasions when your opponent is playing off-curve, it will only fetch little guys for you, too. In the mirror match, it will be very hot. In matchups against decks with approaches to curving out that are radically different from your own, it will be mediocre at best, perhaps fetching the odd power-up.

What it does afford every team, though, is the opportunity to shine, safe in the knowledge that they can fix a few small blips in their curve with minimal fuss. Hitting good drops on each turn shouldn’t be a privilege afforded just to the decks with spiffy effects to find those drops. Missing a drop is the most frustrating way to lose, and Secret Origins is just the way to avoid such irksome eventualities.

If you are trading for things at the Sneak Preview tournament, I would recommend that you look to pick up a few of these as soon as possible. As an effect that can be used by any team, it will be very popular, and it will likely be useful for a very long time. I know that Secret Origins is one of the cards that I most hope to open.

Have fun at the Sneak Preview tournament and be lucky in general.

Tim “Secret Squirrel” Willoughby