It’s time to play the guessing game again. With Pro Circuit Sydney bearing down on us like a grizzly, we need to size it up somehow before we get eaten. We will use beauty as our guide.

With their artwork leading the parade, three characters will be doing their best to send the signal. Each has a story to tell. Australia is only days away, so the final tables on Day 3 of the PC should already be pulsing their message rather loudly backward through time. Together with me, tune your antennae in the direction of an imaginary prognostication program. Even if it isn’t accurate, we will get a few grins out of it.

Before you start throwing tomatoes, this is not all my fault. Nick “akugyaku” Seaman is partially responsible for this particular ritual. Two months ago, accidentally on the winter solstice, he sent me a request. He had a trio of beautiful Vs. System paintings that he needed to see in all their glory. Little did he know that they would eventually form the fuel for the madness we share today. Nick is now irrevocably implicated in the results, but at least he will finally be able to make a desktop background from his three glittering favorites.

Who will go home with the gold after the dust from Pro Circuit Sydney settles? If Goldface has his way, it will be the player who drinks the most powerful potion. That might prove to be rather expensive, and not only in terms of KO’d resources. Let me explain.

Keith Kenyon was an accomplished inventor and a treasure hunter. He found some gold that had been submerged under the sea for centuries. Whether it was a remnant of the Lost City of Atlantis or just a salty miracle substance, it made some serious magic when he started playing with it in the laboratory. The scientist zapped the precious oceanic metal with ultraviolet light and it transformed into something special. Being the risky dude he was, Keith Kenyon dissolved the stuff into an elixir and experimented on himself. He drank it to see what would happen.

Voila! Goldface was born. Kenyon had plans for world conquest, as most villains do. He operated in secret from a small island near Hawaii. He looted more treasure from the bottom of the sea and built up a sizable stash to feed his nefarious plans. He built himself a suit of golden armor and created a glitter gun. His first act was to spray a bank security guard with his shiny stuff, freezing the guard like a statue. He sent a message offering a deal; the guard could live, but only if Green Lantern would agree to surrender.

Now for the best part: Goldface actually broadcast his terms of terror through all the gold fillings in the teeth of the residents of Coast City. Imagine that. If Keith Kenyon can send a distinct demand to thousands of people using the foreign material in their mouths, we can surely listen to the future and find out something about our upcoming Pro Circuit. Or at least we can try.

My metal molars are telling me that there will be two Donkeys in the Sydney Top 4. The team that is as good as gold will finally have a crown to show for it. If Neil Reeves makes the trip, he will be their first champion. Take it to the bank.

Who else will make the last two tables? What kind of deck will shock the world with its undiscovered power? I get the feeling that something wicked this way comes.

Our second spectacular suggestion from Wichita is the evil one who strips team affiliations and stops strategies dead in their tracks. Someone in Sydney is going to succeed by swiping the ability to execute the best-laid plans.

Ra’s al Ghul is really cool. He is even older than I am. For six or seven hundred years, he has been studying esoteric methods of destruction and deviancy. Along with his multiple lifetimes’ worth of skills, resources, and contacts, he possesses genius-level intelligence. He extends his life by bathing regularly in the Lazarus Pit. He is adept at all sorts of fighting methods, including fencing. He is an accomplished alchemist, and an all-around exceptional bad guy.

Also known as The Demon’s Head, Ra’s wants a world in perfect environmental balance. It is a goal he wishes to achieve at any cost. He believes that the best way to accomplish this is to eliminate most of humanity. His most common weapon is engineered disease. Although the 8-drop is not eligible for this tournament, his strategic influence may still be spreading like a virus.

Ra’s al Ghul is the ultimate tech spy. Batman kept extensive notes detailing the weaknesses of each member of the Justice League of America. He did this in case their bodies ever became possessed by an enemy, which would force him to fight against them. Ra’s got hold of the list and used it against the JLA. He knew what the heroes could and could not do. He took away their powers with his Tower of Babel, and I get the feeling that someone will be able to do that in Australia.

I predict a rather shocking deck piloted by a rather shocking player. Expect the unexpected for the third member of the semifinals. The player will not be a household name, but the cards on the table will blow the house down. I can hear it now with a finger tapping on an unexpected plot twist or character ability: “Sorry, you can’t do that.” Someone will be able to disrupt the most common strategy in the PC metagame. He or she will do it with consistency.

One way to know everything and win everything is to become everything. That’s what Kyle Rayner did, and I am going out on a limb to make a guess about who will do it during our twelfth Pro Circuit. As much as I don’t want to jinx him, I am predicting a second consecutive Top 4 for Ryan Jones.

In order to accomplish this, Jonesy will need to take on superhuman strength and leap a tall building. But his girlfriend is joining him for an extended vacation Down Under. Why would that hinder his performance? I don’t know for sure, but it has sunk some pretty good players in the past. Maybe this time, the bond of true love will expand to encompass the entire universe and save the day, like it did for Kyle Rayner ◊ Ion.

A blessed union of souls really can transform two mere humans into a transcendent embodiment of all existence. Kyle Rayner didn’t have a female companion to help him do the trick, but the result was the same.

Kyle achieved godhood as Ion after he absorbed the energy of the Sun. He could alter time, space, and reality. The biggest Green Lantern could even be in multiple places at the same time. Yet Kyle’s universal power was not without some major drawbacks: Ion was one with everything, but Kyle Rayner had difficulties. He had too many voices in his head. The responsibility was overwhelming. Rather than abandon his humanity, Kyle gave up the omnipotence.

Now that I have given you the goods, you can decide for yourself how much of it you believe. Pro Circuit Sydney will be over by the next time we meet, and these are the painterly predictions that I am staking my reputation on:

• Two members of The Donkey Club will make the Top 4, and one of them will win the championship.

• Ryan Jones will break the Curse of Bringing the Girlfriend Along and finish no lower than fourth place.

• There will be a super-tech deck from an unexpected player that will neutralize the most common strategies in the metagame and make the semifinals.

No matter how accurate, those were inspired by brilliant art. We will witness a whole new set of masterpiece performances this weekend in Australia. Stay tuned to this station and revel in their beauty with us. This Pro Circuit is going to be gorgeous.

Rian Fike is also known as stubarnes and he loves looking at great art. If you have a few favorite paintings that you simply must see bigger, send your request and your reasoning to rianfike@hattch.com.