I’m a fan of good movies. I mean a really big fan. You might have guessed this from my insistence on including movie references in my articles*. I have a wall in my apartment completely dedicated to my larger-than-average movie collection. It is my baby. It’s rather meticulously organized and I take great pride in that. One of my favorite sections of this monument to cinema is my classics section. Before you start wondering what classic gems line its hallowed shelves, I have to let you know that you won’t find Casablanca or The Maltese Falcon there. I collect classic horror and sci-fi films.

One of my favorite things about them is how popular they were during their time (and even still are today with many cult classics), despite the fact that they had the worst names imaginable. Attack of the Crab Monsters? It was brilliant for its time, but you would either have to be the most easily scared person on the face of the earth or have some sort of horrible food allergy for that title to scare you. Or take The Thing as another example. I haven’t heard a movie title that clever since Scary Movie.

Despite having some of the most unattractive and unappealing names in the history of language, these movies were and still remain tremendously popular. The simple explanation is that they had substance. They didn’t have all of the flash and glamour of today’s movies, so if they wanted to make money, they had no choice but to be good.

I’m almost certain that at least one person who has read this far is wondering why I’m talking so much about old movies. Well, there are a few reasons. I happen to find a few similarities between the old movies I’ve come to adore and the Emerald Enemies.

*record scratch*

Uh, you just lost me.

Oh boy, I have some explaining to do. First off, I want to say that I love the Emerald Enemies. They really have grown on me after playing with them a bunch. They are a “take no prisoners” sort of team that is quite willing to go balls to the wall to get their mission accomplished.

Now about the movies. One of the biggest things I find in common between the two are their awesomely bad names. They have such gems as Major Force, Major Disaster, and Tattooed Man. However, it’s not their fault. Many of the characters in the Emerald Enemies are villains who have been around the Green Lantern mythos for decades. They didn’t have the glitz and panache of today’s bad guys. These guys had nothing to rely on but their own substance. The fact that their creators made them cool enough that they were able to withstand the test of time and end up here in Green Lantern Corps is a testament to the substance and endurance of these older characters.

And what substance they have! The Emerald Enemies has one of the coolest strategies the game has yet to offer. It’s somewhat reminiscent of many of the New Brotherhood decks that dropped off the map thanks to a single card. Let me give you a decklist for a bit of reference.

Characters

3 Henry King Jr. ◊ Brainwave

3 Sonar

4 The Shark

4 Tattooed Man

2 Hector Hammond

4 Dr. Light, Master of Holograms

2 Invisible Destroyer

3 Myrwhydden

3 Goldface

4 Major Force

Locations

4 Empire of Tears

4 Prison Planet

4 Willworld

Plot Twists

4 Femme Fatality

4 Qwardian Pincer

4 No Man Escapes the Manhunters

4 The Ring Has Chosen

Emerald Enemies is like the Baskin Robbins of the set—31 flavors of goodness under one roof. All of the other affiliations are very coherent. The Manhunters includes Manhunters only. Green Lantern contains only members of the Corps. Anti-Matter is bound by an alternate universe. The Emerald Enemies are simply anyone in the universe who don’t fit into the other categories, with the stipulation that they hate the Green Lanterns for some reason. They’re more like members of a big club than an affiliation. A big club that likes to fight. Hmm . . .

The first rule of Emerald Enemies is . . . never mind.

These guys do love to fight, though. Let’s run through the lineup.

Henry King Jr., Sonar, and The Shark are the lightweights. They stick around for those times when you have an extra resource point and want to soften up your opponents for the heavier hitters. Tattooed Man (Ha!) and Hector Hammond are round two. They’re like the welterweights of the Emerald Enemies. A few pounds and an extra resource point later, you get the incredible middleweight the Invisible Destroyer and his trainer Dr. Light. In the light heavyweight, we have the first real powerhouses. Goldface (Ha ha!) and Myrwhydden not only give you some enormous bodies to work with, but they also have some devastating special attacks that both pack a punch and help to maintain strict control of the number of resources you have. Tipping the scales at a massive 297 pounds, Major Force (Ha ha ha!) is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world. His only downside is that if he doesn’t stay in shape, he gets flabby and slow like a certain Fred Dukes. That’s where Myrwhydden and Goldface come in. They play a little “Eye of the Tiger,” race down the beach, run up some steps—you know the drill.

The Enemies also have some of the best locations of any group out there. Empire of Tears is absolutely nuts. You flip it and sacrifice some resources or some extra dudes, and from that point on, every combat is a nightmare for your opponent. This also helps keep Tattooed Man and Major Force at a reasonably high power level. Prison Planet is another offensive powerhouse. It takes away your ability to team attack for a hefty +2 ATK for all of your characters. It also removes reinforcement from your guys, but that usually won’t be too problematic for you. On your attack, your guys often mutually stun, and on defense, you usually get a stun back, so it becomes very difficult for your opponent to get anywhere.

Willworld is the most out-of-place of all the cards in this deck. The only real reason it’s in the deck is to maintain as much consistency as possible. Every character except Goldface has at least willpower 1, so it’s almost always going to hit. Thanks to that, you should never miss a drop.

The plot twists in the deck continue all the aforementioned themes. Femme Fatality offers at its base a +3 ATK bonus, which is huge. On top of that, the added option to sacrifice a resource to KO a guy is pretty nice when you consider how important it is for the Emerald Enemies to keep tabs on their resources. The only problem I have with the card is how it found its way into an all-men deck—not one of the characters in the deck is a female. Oh well, maybe some of the Enemies picked up a knack for cross-dressing. Who am I to judge?

Moving on.

Qwardian Pincer is another card with a chance to add a massive ATK pump. You should have a fairly large number of dudes on your side of the table, so the bonus will usually be at least +3—not too shabby. Three really must be the magic number because that’s the bonus No Man Escapes the Manhunters also gives you. It’s in the form of a -3 DEF, but that’s effectively the same thing. It also has the added benefit of yanking those annoying hidden characters out of the shadows to get pummeled.

The only other card that might get the nod here (but who didn’t make the deck) is Golden Death. I’m not really sure about this card. The fact that it’s only a +2 ATK turned me off, but the added loss of reinforcement has some real potential. I don’t think I’ve done enough playtesting with the deck to make a really qualified decision on the card. That’s part of the purpose of these articles, though—to give you ideas to add to your own playtest gauntlet. Now you have an option to test.

The final plot twist in the deck is The Ring Has Chosen. All of your early drops have at least willpower 1, so it should be able to get any character in your deck at virtually any time. This is how you can make up for the fact that you can’t get Goldface with Willworld. He has no willpower, is yellow (all right, all right, he’s gold), and hates the Lantern, but that doesn’t change the fact that the ring has chosen him.

The Emerald Enemies have a lot of potential. They have some of the largest bodies and most powerful effects of any characters in the set. Aggressive decks seem to be the norm for Golden Age formats. In PC Amsterdam, the championship deck (and most played deck) was Honor Among Thieves. Even in the upcoming DC Modern Age format, aggressive decks seem to be everywhere. The format may very well come down to who beats down harder. Emerald Enemies has a tremendous amount of beats in its arsenal. More than one battle will end on turn 5 or 6 with one player at three or so resources. You may even be able to steal a win from an opponent who is spending too much time laughing at the awesomely bad names of the guys you have in play. When you’re done smashing him or her, don’t feel as if you need to help your opponent up. Big Tatts, Goldie, and the Major would want it that way.

Heh heh, Major Disaster. He sure is.

* Here are the ones I’ve made so far. In my first article, I opened with a quote from a sketch comedy move called Kentucky Fried Movie. I still recommend that everyone see it. In the next article, I made a reference to Falling Down.