For those of you who don’t follow the Superman comics (shame on you!), Parasite is basically this dude who can absorb your powers if he touches you. Kind of like how Humpherys absorbs all the joy out of the room. Except that when Parasite absorbs your powers, he gets to do all sorts of cool stuff like fly around and shoot heat beams out of his eyes¾assuming you can fly and shoot heat beams out of your eyes. Whereas when Humpherys absorbs all the joy out of the room, he just gets grumpier and says things like, “I hate socks.”

Just like in the comics, Parasite starts off as this dude who whines about wanting to suck Superman’s power. We represented this by starting him as a measly 6 ATK/6 DEF character. However, once he gets his hands on Superman (or any other character, for that matter¾look out, Jimmy Olsen!), he jumps up to a positively monstrous 10 ATK/10 DEF.

Here are some ways it can play out . . .

Scenario 1: You drop Parasite while you have the initiative. You trade your 3-drop with your opponent’s 4-drop, using a combat trick. Parasite smashes that 3-drop and sucks up its energy (hopefully it’s Superman, Red for maximum Superman suckage flavor). Parasite gains a cosmic counter, so on the next turn, your opponent will face a giant that even his or her 5-drop might not be able to handle.

Scenario 2: Your opponent has the initiative. You manage to protect Parasite from your opponent’s onslaught (I know this isn’t a given, but hey, that’s why it’s a game). Next turn, you get to bash with your super-sized purple pal.

Stuff that works well with Parasite:

• Cards that pump the ATK of your lower drops. This allows them to trade with your opponent’s 4-drop, which in turn allows Parasite to bully a lower drop.

• Cards that give Parasite flight. This allows him smash a protected smaller drop. Once he’s grown to 10 ATK/10 DEF, you won’t need to worry about your opponent’s return swing.

• Good defensive protectors. This allows Parasite to hide from your opponent’s bigger attackers. Ideally, Parasite will survive your opponent’s attacks and have the opportunity to attack back. If only he had range . . .
• Cards that give Parasite range or move him to the front row. This allows him to attack after surviving your opponent’s barrage.

• Ways to put a cosmic counter on Parasite. Sure, Parasite has a built-in mechanism for gaining his own cosmic counters, but there just might be a few other ways for a character to get one. How much sicker is Parasite when he basically starts off as a 10 ATK/10 DEF character? (The answer is, “a lot.”)

• Sentinels. This is because Sentinels are purple and Parasite is purple, so together they’re really purple. Purple!

A couple of other things you should know about Parasite:

• Cosmic counters can’t go on a stunned character. This means that stunning a character isn’t enough to get the counter¾Parasite also has to survive the encounter.

• Cosmic counters can’t go on a character that already has a cosmic counter. This means that Parasite is either 6 ATK/6 DEF or 10 ATK/10 DEF. He can’t get any bigger (without the help of an outside card).

As you can see, Parasite’s a pure beater. He’s not too concerned with tricky stuff. He just wants to grab a snack and go to work. Kinda like I do. Except I don’t snack on other people’s energy . . . Or do I?

Tune in next week to read about flowers, ponies, and a grandmother’s love.

Send questions or socks to dmandel@metagame.com.